Lies I've Believed

Today was kind of rotten: my aunt's kids wanted to scream about anything and everything. And the youngest even screamed about nothing. Several times. For at least twenty minutes every go-round.

Then? Then, I was turning onto the gravel road that leads to home and slipped right into the ditch--not all the way in but far enough so that I couldn't get out on my own. Daddy dearest had to come assess the situation and then come back AGAIN once he had a chain.

I sat in the car and cried. Oh, I cried and cried and cried an impressive number of tears for only five minutes.

So many lies slipped into my heart, just as my car had slid across the ice:

"Marian, you are such a parasite; you're constantly stealing your father away from his important work on the farm because you have a crisis."

"Why can't you do anything right? You're twenty-one years old for goodness sake!"

"Your family would be better off without having to take care of you, too. You're an adult...why are you still living at home? Wow you're pathetic..."

And I let each one sink in nice and deep. But when I got home--face tear-stained and chest still heaving--my mother set me straight.

Here are a few truths that I re-learned tonight, that just may apply to your heart and life, too:

1. It is not weak to be dependent on someone else; as a Christian, aren't I already wholly dependent on Someone anyway?

2. To be independent as the world views it is desperately lonely at times--I was engaged and surrounded by an entire metro area's worth of people while living in my apartment and felt so lost for a whole year.

3. Family works together. Why wouldn't they? Sometimes one person needs more help than usual for a season: I need my old bedroom and a carpool ride to work and total care from my parents between now and the wedding; one day, my parents will come live with us when they're too old to stay in their home.

Plus...everybody in my family has gotten the car stuck in the snow.